Abstract Expressionism

Thank God for awesome neighbors. Neighbors with balls. 

As much as I aim to let Sophie be playfully free and expressive, I'm not willing to let that happen near my furniture. This is where Candy (my awesome neighbor) comes in handy. Saturday night we were sipping wine and snacking on cheese on her front porch, a Southern tradition I've grown quite fond of.  Candy decided we should let her son, Quinn and Sophie paint.

I must have been (very) soothed from the Pinot Grigio because there is no way in hell I would normally agree to toddlers and paint. But hey- it was her porch and "washable" paint. (I love you, Crayola.) So, here is our little Helen Frankenthaler and Jackson Pollack at work:

 

Thank you for a such a great time. We are so lucky to have such cool neighbors and friends.

Love,

Melissa

Toddlers and Trucks

This past Saturday we took Sophie to a local event called Touch a Truck. Since I'm paranoid and think everything sounds perverted- I looked into this first to make sure it wasn't "Touch a Trucker" or something about truckstops. Eww. It turns out that it is an event where kids get to see firetrucks, ambulances, fire rescue trucks, UPS trucks, a Red Cross Emergency truck, a cement mixer, tow trucks, police cars, police motorcycles, and a rescue helicopter! They get to climb all over the trucks, honk the horns, meet firefighters and police officers, and get loads of free candy and stickers. Well since Sophie has been really into naming various trucks and yelling "school bus" constantly while in the car- we thought she'd be in heaven. As usual- you never know how a toddler is going to react until you get there.

Wow! Sophie! A firetruck! Wanna climb inside? "No!" Hey- Sophie, look- a cool ambulance! Wanna take a look inside? "No!" OMG- a school bus! Your favorite! Wanna peek inside? "NOOOO!" Okay- let's start slowly- wanna sticker from Mr. Police Officer? "Uhhh....No!" Bracelet? "No!"  Firefighter's hat? "No!"

The problem here was: every little boy from ages 2.5-9 years old was going ape$hit. Seriously. What do boys do the second they get behind the wheel of a super cool truck? Yep. Honk the horn. Over and over. So here is Sophie's "WTH?" face:

What's this? Lollipops? Yeah, I can be bought with a lollipop. Thanks, UPS.

Yay! We have a smile! Blue, but still a smile!

Wait...is this a smile coming on?! Yay!

Cool helicopter landing!

Sophie got to high-five the lady helicopter rescuer! Girl power! Soooo happy to see a good female presence of police officers, firefighters, EMTs, etc. Lots of sheros and heros! Thanks, Opelika!

This is Sophie at Frog Legs! It is a big indoor, inflatable bounce house and arcade extravaganza! Perfect for rainy days and super-hot southern summer days when the park+ mommy wine hangover = total suckage.  Hey- I'm still a good mommy. Just need AC.  Just sayin'.

This was her first time climbing up the big slide all by her self! We were sooo proud! Not to mention the prospect of a good 2-3 hour nap after climbing it 5 more times! Yaaay!

When in Alabama.....

So.....after the Touch a Truck event and a visit to Frog Legs, we went to Brick Oven Pizza for my fave pizza....the Cheeser! Three words. Shallot. Cream. Sauce.  Soooo worth busting the diet for. A little beer and mommy was ready for a nap too! Had a great day hanging with my sweet angel bear. And Sophie.

XOXO! Happy Mutha's Day!!!!!

Love,

Melissa

Auburn Cityfest

What shall I do first?

Ride a dinosaur. Check.

  Rock the bouncy house slide. Check.

Get some sweet body art. Check.

Then some pizza with mommy and daddy.  Good times.

Love,

Sophie

Strawberry Shortcake

Fortunately, I have a neighbor who actually knows of things to do in Alabama besides start a meth lab or go to Walmart in your pjs. Candy suggested that we take our kids strawberry picking. Now- my brain pictured two scenarios: 1. Sophie skipping along merrily, plucking ripe, red strawberries while mesmerized in the beauty of nature and learning early to support local growers. My liberal, idealistic brain felt like awesome mom of the year.  OR 2. A golden-haired version of Godzilla, stomping and mashing all things in her wake. It seems mean to visualize your child as option two, unless you have seen the spectacle that is a 2.5 year old, high on power and fresh air. So- it was not without trepidation that we ventured out this past weekend.

Things were not looking promising because getting her dressed was like a scene from a rodeo. She was the bull and we were the clowns. She even pulled out her pigtails, threw the bows on the floor and shouted, "NEVER!" This is her new favorite word.  She sounds it out as loud as she can for a full 5 seconds. Really. She even gets a crazed look like Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest. Picture the No Wire Hangers(!!) scene.

So, after packing up the usual toddler basics (diapers, wipes, snack, sippy cup, snack option #2, blankie, Cinderella doll, sunscreen, hand sanitizer, books, Lortab, and a diet coke) we left the house in a prompt hour and a half. Awesome. Let's do this. Pigtails or no pigtails. We are going to have some wholesome, family fun, damnit! I swear- I actually threatened her.

We arrived at Dempsey Farms only to find out that they were not open yet. The owner must recognized our FML faces and graciously let us in! Wheee! Here we go!

As you can see below- we totally scored with Sophie Version 1.0. Check out my little Strawberry Shortcake:

 

Thank you for a great time, Chad, Candy, and Quinn!

Also- Happy Birthday, Grandma Sisa!! We love you!

XOXO,

Melissa

Never Say Never....

For those of you who have followed this blog from the get go- you all well know that's I've made some serious confessions here. Must be the Catholic school girl in me. Well, I've got a new confession.

None of us like to think of ourselves as judgmental, right? I've taken at least a small amount of solace in knowing that I am an open-minded individual. As long as no one is in harms way- my thought's are "different strokes for different folks" - right? Well, when I was pregnant, Brian and I used to talk about how "wrong" it is to bribe kids with treats and promises, in hopes they will bend to your parental whim. I always thought that if your kid has half a brain- you can reason with them. I said, " I would never give in to bribery- what a lazy way out!" Well, I was wrong. So wrong. For those I silently judged- I'm sorry.

I also said that I will never hide medicine or veggies in other foods as a trick. Again, I thought that reason would rule the day. Ha!

You see, Sophie has yet another ear infection. So- she needs antibiotics. Well- nowadays- there is more than just the standard pink stuff option we were all stuck with as children. Now, you can add just about ANY flavor to meds! I asked for margarita which they frowned upon for some reason at my local Walgreens.

Well, Sophs likes bananas. Alot. Like more than chimpanzees. So- I opted for banana. She opted to spit it in my face. And pretend to choke. And roundhouse kicked Brian and me in the grill several times. And scream like we were burning her with cigarettes.  When her fever was 103.6- we tried giving her some yummy-flavored Motrin. Nope. She gave us the toddler equivalent of the bird. Oh yeah- ibuprofen spit in the eyes burns like pepper spray. Thanks, Sophie.

So- back to the doctor. For the third time.  I pleaded for an injection of antibiotics. He asked me the usual round of exasperating but worthy questions. Did you try to put it in her milk? Did you offer her an M&M if she took the meds? Did you sneak it in her juice? Did you put it in yogurt or pudding? Did you try blowing in her face to swallow? Did you wrap her in a blanket first? Yes. Yes. Yes. Friggin yes. We looked online. We asked every parent at our offices. We tried reasoning. We tried yogurt. We tried milkshakes. We tried wrapping her like a burrito in a bathsheet and practically sitting on her. Now listen- I'm not a dainty flower. Brian is a BIG dude. This 37 lb incarnation of Linda Blair had us by the bells.

It goes without saying that I was bemused, if not full-on SMUG when three nurses couldn't get even 1 ml of medicine into her. Ha. Suck it. If three pediatric nurses can't do it- then shut your mouths. Oh yeah- and give her the damned injection!!

Sidebar- for those of you who have kids who "just love" or "beg" or "line up" for medicine because it is so yummy....keep it to your damned, lucky- selves.  I don't want to hear it. I want to high five you. In the face. With a chair.

Since EVERYONE we know is currently pregnant- let me give you some sage advice. Thank sweet Jesus or Buddha, or whomever if your kid takes medicine well. Because if he or she does not- your only option for a fever reducer is an acetaminophen suppository. Not just one. Two or three. Yep. In the booty. This is worse for the parent than the child, I'm sure. When your kids says, 'Yes, please" to Motrin- think of those less fortunate who have to stick their pinkie finger in their poor baby's butt.

So- now back to my original point. Never say never. Below you will see just a light assortment of the crap we tried to hide her measly 4 ml of Cedax in.

Well, none of it worked. My daughter must have the most ridiculously-refined palette because she gave us a look like- who the hell are you kidding with this $hi+?

So- we went with bribery. You should hear us...we sound like gameshow hosts. "Brian! Tell the lucky lady what she will win if she takes her medicine?!" A brand new car! No, but stickers and gummy treats seem to be working. For now. Check out our arsenal of medicine "swag."

So, the lesson is: I was wrong for judging. The other lesson: Jeez, do toddlers friggin LOVE stickers.

Well, have a great week. Mommy is off to make some well-earned Sunday-afternoon margaritas.

XOXO,

Melis